Kelsey’s uterus’s going away party 

I knew weeks and weeks ago that if want to have a little party before going under the knife. 

I was sure I’d want an opportunity to get together with a small number of very dear friends (mostly people who had seen me at my worst) and celebrate my approaching freedom. 

I wanted to be silly and make jokes and be irreverent in the face of a big, scary operation. That sort of thing helps me feel 1) in control 2) less scared. 

My friend, Jessica, let me have it at her house (cause my house is quickly becoming recovery central), and we kept it simple but we had SO much fun. 

  • Uterus piñata! I found a heart shaped Mylar balloon and Jessica helped me mix the flour and water to cover it with paper mache. You better believe I beat the CRAP Out of that thing. (I packed it full of little pouches of jelly beans as a small pert favor for my friends to say “thanks for BEAN here!”

  • Snacks! I wanted to make funny signs for all the snacks–some were funnier than others. But these helped set the tone for the party. It helped establish the event as a place to talk some serious sh*t about my mean old uterus. (“I wanna PUNCH my uterus in the face / FUN*fetti cupcakes – *about 300% more fun than my period / veg-at-jays / chips and hot [FLASH] sauce.)

  • Pin the eviction notice on the uterus: I used some post its to make little eviction notes so that my friends could write down some of those reasons this is the right choice to make. It can be hard to remember when you’re facing a big operation. It was so funny to read all the comments after about how RUDE my uterus is, and how much she deserves to GET OUT. 

  • I had a spare pillow form laying around, so I went to the craft store and bought some colored felt, iron on bonder, and a clearance white t-shirt. I created the little felt shapes, bonded them togerher and stuck them to the shirt, stuffed the pillow in and bonded the edges closed. Super cheap little recovery pillow! I even had enough felt leftover to make a pocket on the back. (Perfect to hold an ice pack, or in the case of the party–perfect for holding sweet notes from friends that I’ll read in my recovery room. ❤️

  • The “BYE STUPID” sign Jessica made for me was the icing on the HILARIOUS cake. She “gets” me. I’m so grateful for my sweet friend–I can’t think of a day we’ve spent together that we didn’t lose half of our time doubled over in laughter. 

The real reason I wanted this party was because I wanted to have some time with my women. Lady friends are such a gift. Girlfriends make moments like this so much easier to tackle. At the end of the party, we raised our cups and toasted to her departure. It felt so good to say, “Bye, Felicia!” and know that I’m surrounded by love. 

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